In her 1948 short story “The Lottery”, Shirley Jackson explores a brutal tradition carried on by the people of a small, contemporary American town. The story begins innocently enough with the townspeople preparing for the annual lottery. However the innocence of this ceremonial lottery crumbles away when it is revealed that the winner of the lottery recieves not a fortune, but rather a bloody execution. Tessie Hutchinson, the winner, is stoned to death by the entire town in the hopes that her death will bring a good harvest (many maintain it may also have had something to do with the fact that Tessie was kind of a bitch). The bloody tradition observed in Jackson’s masterpiece is a prime example of how sometimes traditions can cause people to loose sight of logic and blindly follow the ways of old with little memory of why.
However, the brutality and misery caused by the tradition of Shirley Jackson’s town pales in comparison to another tradition, observed by millions around the globe every June:
I don’t think I have ever experienced anything as humiliating as being forced to wear that silly headpiece during my graduation movements. What should have been a happy time full of enthusiastic smiling for pictures was transformed into a gruelling, pride-decaying hardship because of that stupid blue cap. I hardly remember the speeches at graduation because I spent the better part of them trying to keep my hat on as the feeble elastic continually gave way, slipping either back or forward slowly and annoyingly. Not to mention the fact that the tassle, which spent most of its time being chewed on by me, was incredibly annoying as well.
I think that when judgment day comes and the punishments of Dante’s hell are perfect, I’ll no doubt be subjected to an eternity of wearing that death cap.
The graduation cap we have all come to know is believed to date back to the sixteenth century. Though there is debate on the subject, many historians believe that the hat is square shaped to represent the mortar palette used by many masons of the time. Unless a particular graduate has extensively studied masonry in high school or college, it seems pretty silly to continue this absurd tradition. As a matter of fact, I believe that wearing an actual mortar palette would look less absurd than this cardboard impostor.
Don’t get me wrong – I think seeing the entire student body dressed up in their matching gowns is inspiring. The gowns don’t bother me at all. But here’s the thing: in that crowd of x number of students, not a single one thinks that their cap looks good or feels comfortable. Not a single person in the audience has grad-cap-envy. Everyone is thinking the same thing: why the fuck am I wearing this?
